Back to Light is a very special continuing series of interviews with me. My health journey that nearly resulted in my death—and was thankfully restored by a double transplan—was a springboard for me into art and the creation of DAP. My personal story is in the My Doodle Journey blog. These interviews are the journeys of people who have persevered through their own difficult times with the help of art. Many artists in the Abilene community have crossed my path during DAP events, monthly downtown Art Walks, First Fridays at People's Plaza, and City Light Ministries Friday lunches. I’ve had the opportunity to talk to some of the them and hear some very interesting life stories. Whether owning their own gallery, selling their art in town or on the road at festivals, or just starting to go public, one common thread among many I have met is how therapeutic art has been for them through tragedies and other difficult times in their lives. I have the privilege of sitting down privately to interview them. Here are their stories of how they have waded through darknesses with the power of art to find light.
Sam LaPierre continued . . .
DAP: What were the circumstances behind you going to prison?
SAM: The first time I went to prison or got arrested was 2011. I got caught with a meth lab in the back of my truck. And it’s not really funny, but it is funny because I’m not dead (laughs). You know what I mean? Because I was a terrible drug maker. Because I just didn’t have any common sense when it came to dealing with the people or being a gangster. I was the opposite of being a gangster. I was a hippie (laughs). Those two things are not the same. That all came as a result of…in 2010 when I started doing drugs because I had no idea.
My mom has spent her whole life in my life trying to keep me out of all of this because she knew, right? She had me and she was a completely different person that raised me, than raised my sister. And I had no clue…like, I didn’t know my mom was a meth head from a long time ago or that was the only thing that she and my dad ever had in common. But yet here I was in the same circles doing the same things that she was doing, that my sister did.
The second time I went to prison I got a tampering with evidence ‘cause I had a whole bunch of drugs on me and I swallowed them all and almost died. And then I puked on the cop’s shoes. It’s okay to laugh (laughs).
DAP: Yeah, well, I want to see where it goes from there…
SAM: We’ll, clearly I didn’t die so we’re good, right? (laughs)
DAP: Yeah.
SAM: Well, I knew I was in trouble because for one you can’t take that much stuff and have no consequences right? And two, you can’t throw up on a police officer and talk crap and not have consequences. So, I got five years for tampering with evidence because all he had was my chewed up baggie and my vomit. And honestly, that was such… a blessing you know. It was just one of those upside-down blessings.
I mean, in so many different ways it was so hard for all of us. I didn’t have any contact with my kids for three years. I didn’t have anybody. I was by myself and I had to lean into God and be able to regulate myself by myself. And something did change there. Deep down in my soul changed. If you would look at that person that went into that prison and the person that came out of that prison, you wouldn’t even see a resemblance.
DAP: So you cleaned up?
SAM: Un huh. I try. I didn’t really do anything, honestly, because if it wasn’t for God and my relationship and understanding of God, I couldn’t do this by myself—otherwise I would’ve died a long time ago. If I could’ve fixed myself, I would have. I can’t take all of the credit except for the fact that I’ve done my very best to stay open and willing to where I am led.
When Sam was in prison, she knew what was required for her to be able to change her life for the better, but actually doing it, she says, was so much more demanding and scary. At some point, she realized she didn’t have any more chances and that she had to make it.
About a month after getting out of prison, she became a student at FaithWorks. Their mission is “to help the chronically unemployed or underemployed adult, through personal, career, academic and spiritual development, acquire the confidence and skills for gainful and long-term employment.” Sam interned at the Abilene Country Club for two years before finding out FaithWorks needed a kitchen coordinator and getting the position.
Her myriad responsibilities include planning, preparing, and managing the kitchen, staff, and volunteers for the preparation of breakfast and lunch for anywhere between 12 and 25 people depending on the need for each day. She also collects food from the West Texas Food Bank and takes care of the site’s garden.
SAM: FaithWorks has a whole personal approach to address the barriers to employment that people face. In order to bring our best self to work, we need to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually well. I make sure we eat food that encourages the physical aspect of that equation. And not to boast, but I make sure it is nothing less than the best food that I can offer to people.
The greatest gift is that I have this level of creative freedom that has helped me grow in a way that I can’t really explain. I have confidence now. Not arrogant ego-centered confidence, but the joyful, passionate kind. The kind that comes from not only being good at, but truly enjoying what I’m doing.
And there’s this satisfaction of feeding people. Because before we need pretty pictures on the wall, we need to be fed. We need to have somebody care that we have food in our bellies and nutrition that is going to be sustaining and good for our bodies. And a lot of people don’t have that. You know, they’re thrown a peanut butter sandwich here and there or given a sack lunch, but there’s a huge correlation to what we eat and our health and well-being. A huge one. And there’s an even larger correlation to our health and our body and our thought processes. I think that creativity and good nutrition are like the secret keys to the kingdom of healing people. A lot of people say, “Oh, I’m not creative.” Yes, you are. If you never make anything, you are creative. There’s art inside of you. You are art. Your life is art. And the sooner that we own, that, the better.
DAP: Where would you like your art to go from here?
SAM: I would like my art to go to whoever it speaks to. ‘Cause I think more than anything our creativity is to help other people as well. And I know there have been times when I’ve seen stuff by other people, and it just touches part of my soul that I didn’t know was there.
DAP: Do you feel like you discover something about yourself from art?
SAM: I think that every human being has a whole world inside of them that they aren’t even aware of. A whole landscape, a geography, you know? A whole universe that is just waiting to be discovered and be put somewhere, something…made alive. I think that the saddest thing we do is that we go on and ignore it. We pretend that that beautiful universe isn’t there and we conform ourselves to be who we think we’re supposed to be, and nobody ever sees it.
And I know if I release the goodness inside of me, somebody else can see it and release the goodness inside of them, and it just adds more. People start healing. People start getting better. Because it’s not just so much about art--making pretty pictures. It’s about healing our souls to the most fundamental level.
SAM: The first time I went to prison or got arrested was 2011. I got caught with a meth lab in the back of my truck. And it’s not really funny, but it is funny because I’m not dead (laughs). You know what I mean? Because I was a terrible drug maker. Because I just didn’t have any common sense when it came to dealing with the people or being a gangster. I was the opposite of being a gangster. I was a hippie (laughs). Those two things are not the same. That all came as a result of…in 2010 when I started doing drugs because I had no idea.
My mom has spent her whole life in my life trying to keep me out of all of this because she knew, right? She had me and she was a completely different person that raised me, than raised my sister. And I had no clue…like, I didn’t know my mom was a meth head from a long time ago or that was the only thing that she and my dad ever had in common. But yet here I was in the same circles doing the same things that she was doing, that my sister did.
The second time I went to prison I got a tampering with evidence ‘cause I had a whole bunch of drugs on me and I swallowed them all and almost died. And then I puked on the cop’s shoes. It’s okay to laugh (laughs).
DAP: Yeah, well, I want to see where it goes from there…
SAM: We’ll, clearly I didn’t die so we’re good, right? (laughs)
DAP: Yeah.
SAM: Well, I knew I was in trouble because for one you can’t take that much stuff and have no consequences right? And two, you can’t throw up on a police officer and talk crap and not have consequences. So, I got five years for tampering with evidence because all he had was my chewed up baggie and my vomit. And honestly, that was such… a blessing you know. It was just one of those upside-down blessings.
I mean, in so many different ways it was so hard for all of us. I didn’t have any contact with my kids for three years. I didn’t have anybody. I was by myself and I had to lean into God and be able to regulate myself by myself. And something did change there. Deep down in my soul changed. If you would look at that person that went into that prison and the person that came out of that prison, you wouldn’t even see a resemblance.
DAP: So you cleaned up?
SAM: Un huh. I try. I didn’t really do anything, honestly, because if it wasn’t for God and my relationship and understanding of God, I couldn’t do this by myself—otherwise I would’ve died a long time ago. If I could’ve fixed myself, I would have. I can’t take all of the credit except for the fact that I’ve done my very best to stay open and willing to where I am led.
When Sam was in prison, she knew what was required for her to be able to change her life for the better, but actually doing it, she says, was so much more demanding and scary. At some point, she realized she didn’t have any more chances and that she had to make it.
About a month after getting out of prison, she became a student at FaithWorks. Their mission is “to help the chronically unemployed or underemployed adult, through personal, career, academic and spiritual development, acquire the confidence and skills for gainful and long-term employment.” Sam interned at the Abilene Country Club for two years before finding out FaithWorks needed a kitchen coordinator and getting the position.
Her myriad responsibilities include planning, preparing, and managing the kitchen, staff, and volunteers for the preparation of breakfast and lunch for anywhere between 12 and 25 people depending on the need for each day. She also collects food from the West Texas Food Bank and takes care of the site’s garden.
SAM: FaithWorks has a whole personal approach to address the barriers to employment that people face. In order to bring our best self to work, we need to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually well. I make sure we eat food that encourages the physical aspect of that equation. And not to boast, but I make sure it is nothing less than the best food that I can offer to people.
The greatest gift is that I have this level of creative freedom that has helped me grow in a way that I can’t really explain. I have confidence now. Not arrogant ego-centered confidence, but the joyful, passionate kind. The kind that comes from not only being good at, but truly enjoying what I’m doing.
And there’s this satisfaction of feeding people. Because before we need pretty pictures on the wall, we need to be fed. We need to have somebody care that we have food in our bellies and nutrition that is going to be sustaining and good for our bodies. And a lot of people don’t have that. You know, they’re thrown a peanut butter sandwich here and there or given a sack lunch, but there’s a huge correlation to what we eat and our health and well-being. A huge one. And there’s an even larger correlation to our health and our body and our thought processes. I think that creativity and good nutrition are like the secret keys to the kingdom of healing people. A lot of people say, “Oh, I’m not creative.” Yes, you are. If you never make anything, you are creative. There’s art inside of you. You are art. Your life is art. And the sooner that we own, that, the better.
DAP: Where would you like your art to go from here?
SAM: I would like my art to go to whoever it speaks to. ‘Cause I think more than anything our creativity is to help other people as well. And I know there have been times when I’ve seen stuff by other people, and it just touches part of my soul that I didn’t know was there.
DAP: Do you feel like you discover something about yourself from art?
SAM: I think that every human being has a whole world inside of them that they aren’t even aware of. A whole landscape, a geography, you know? A whole universe that is just waiting to be discovered and be put somewhere, something…made alive. I think that the saddest thing we do is that we go on and ignore it. We pretend that that beautiful universe isn’t there and we conform ourselves to be who we think we’re supposed to be, and nobody ever sees it.
And I know if I release the goodness inside of me, somebody else can see it and release the goodness inside of them, and it just adds more. People start healing. People start getting better. Because it’s not just so much about art--making pretty pictures. It’s about healing our souls to the most fundamental level.
Paige Boutwell continued . . .
DAP: If I remember correctly, didn’t you take some pictures and use them for your exhibit?
PAIGE: I did take some photos and turn them into colored pencil pieces from my past and everything and I also went through a lot of photos that were from my past. I even have one of the house burning down. Or not burning down but burnt down. But I just love Alabama. I hear a lot of people talk badly about it from things they’ve just heard and never experienced and so I wanted to shine a light on the beauty of Alabama and the people there and things like that.
DAP: What was the title of the exhibit?
PAIGE: Lost in Alabama, which is a little bit of a pun because Perdido in Spanish means “lost.” And the way it got named that whenever the Spanish conquistadors came through, they were looking for the Minette Bay (which turned into Bay Minette) which is a town over.
And they got lost and they were in the middle of the woods and there was a Native American tribe--Poarch Band of Creek Indians--that were there. But they never saw them and they wrote on old maps “not much is known about this place” and they named it Perdido, and I thought it was fitting to name it Lost in Alabama.
DAP: Tell me about these drawings that were done of photographs.
PAIGE: So, “A Mechanic’s Dream.” This was a photo I took at Swift Lumber. I got a chance to go and take pictures of welders. But we had to wait until it was dark, so it was actually cool enough for them to weld. And there was this giant pile of gears and metal and everything that they had to stockpile ‘cause the place is over one hundred years old and they still used their original machinery. So, they have the stockpile so they can replace the parts and everything. I remember my dad looking at me thinking I was insane taking the photo and I was like, “It’ll be good, I promise.” And then I decided to turn it into a color, pencil piece.
DAP: Why is a lot of your work done on black canvas?
PAIGE: I almost always start on black canvas even the pieces that are completely covered in paint because to me, it gives to me a different depth, but it’s also, again, pulling that light out. In college I was in 2D Comp 2 and it was a class that was split between 2D Comp 1 and 2 in the same classroom and there are just three of us in 2D Comp 2 and the year before I had seen someone do color pencil on black conservation board, fell in love with it… pestered my professor into letting me do it and after that, I was hooked because the colors to me were more vibrant than they are on the white and so it worked better.
And after I started painting again, I decided to start doing black canvas, and I started doing the same thing and so it helped me pull out my ideas better on the black.
DAP: And this one is really interesting to me, The Lost Sunset. Is what you’ve essentially done is create a silhouette by using color?
PAIGE: Yes. That one was a photo taken from a gas station. We call it the Amoco. I think it’s the Chevron now. Everyone still calls it the Amoco, but it was just this gorgeous sunset, and I just snapped a photo of it as I was leaving one day. And I loved the colors and whenever I looked at it you could see some details in where the black is, in where it’s silhouetted. But whenever I started drawing it I just loved doing the colors and leaving the rest of it completely blacked out.
DAP: Now, these in particular, this series here, to me says “light coming out of darkness.” Is that part of what drew it to you either consciously or perhaps subconsciously?
PAIGE: I think it started off subconsciously, but it’s become more conscious. So, like the Corvair one I recently did--and that one… that car is my rust baby. That’s what I call it. It was supposed to be my fixer-upper car that me and my dad did together and it got to the point, because we never had time to do it that… it’s not worth fixing. It’s too much money to put into it. So, I wanted to save it and the only way I could was in a drawing. So, I just took the photo and drew it out.
DAP: What do you like about art… your own experiences doing it as well as being around it?
PAIGE: Everyone sees something different even in realism. They have a different idea of what it means, and I really love that because it can be personal to multiple people for different reasons. Even if it isn’t what was in the artist’s head when they were creating it.
DAP: Who are some of your favorite artists?
PAIGE: Salvador Dali is one of my top ones. I really like van Gogh. I love his story. It’s very interesting. I’m blanking on the others. (Laughs)
DAP: When I say doodling, what do you think of?
PAIGE: For me it’s like whenever I’m rough sketching, and don’t have, like, a clear idea of what I want to do so I start sketching down until I get an idea…is what doodling is to me.
DAP: Do you consider doodling as art?
PAIGE: Yes. It’s definitely art and it’s art that’s much more accessible to everyone than painting is or sculpting and things like that.
PAIGE: I did take some photos and turn them into colored pencil pieces from my past and everything and I also went through a lot of photos that were from my past. I even have one of the house burning down. Or not burning down but burnt down. But I just love Alabama. I hear a lot of people talk badly about it from things they’ve just heard and never experienced and so I wanted to shine a light on the beauty of Alabama and the people there and things like that.
DAP: What was the title of the exhibit?
PAIGE: Lost in Alabama, which is a little bit of a pun because Perdido in Spanish means “lost.” And the way it got named that whenever the Spanish conquistadors came through, they were looking for the Minette Bay (which turned into Bay Minette) which is a town over.
And they got lost and they were in the middle of the woods and there was a Native American tribe--Poarch Band of Creek Indians--that were there. But they never saw them and they wrote on old maps “not much is known about this place” and they named it Perdido, and I thought it was fitting to name it Lost in Alabama.
DAP: Tell me about these drawings that were done of photographs.
PAIGE: So, “A Mechanic’s Dream.” This was a photo I took at Swift Lumber. I got a chance to go and take pictures of welders. But we had to wait until it was dark, so it was actually cool enough for them to weld. And there was this giant pile of gears and metal and everything that they had to stockpile ‘cause the place is over one hundred years old and they still used their original machinery. So, they have the stockpile so they can replace the parts and everything. I remember my dad looking at me thinking I was insane taking the photo and I was like, “It’ll be good, I promise.” And then I decided to turn it into a color, pencil piece.
DAP: Why is a lot of your work done on black canvas?
PAIGE: I almost always start on black canvas even the pieces that are completely covered in paint because to me, it gives to me a different depth, but it’s also, again, pulling that light out. In college I was in 2D Comp 2 and it was a class that was split between 2D Comp 1 and 2 in the same classroom and there are just three of us in 2D Comp 2 and the year before I had seen someone do color pencil on black conservation board, fell in love with it… pestered my professor into letting me do it and after that, I was hooked because the colors to me were more vibrant than they are on the white and so it worked better.
And after I started painting again, I decided to start doing black canvas, and I started doing the same thing and so it helped me pull out my ideas better on the black.
DAP: And this one is really interesting to me, The Lost Sunset. Is what you’ve essentially done is create a silhouette by using color?
PAIGE: Yes. That one was a photo taken from a gas station. We call it the Amoco. I think it’s the Chevron now. Everyone still calls it the Amoco, but it was just this gorgeous sunset, and I just snapped a photo of it as I was leaving one day. And I loved the colors and whenever I looked at it you could see some details in where the black is, in where it’s silhouetted. But whenever I started drawing it I just loved doing the colors and leaving the rest of it completely blacked out.
DAP: Now, these in particular, this series here, to me says “light coming out of darkness.” Is that part of what drew it to you either consciously or perhaps subconsciously?
PAIGE: I think it started off subconsciously, but it’s become more conscious. So, like the Corvair one I recently did--and that one… that car is my rust baby. That’s what I call it. It was supposed to be my fixer-upper car that me and my dad did together and it got to the point, because we never had time to do it that… it’s not worth fixing. It’s too much money to put into it. So, I wanted to save it and the only way I could was in a drawing. So, I just took the photo and drew it out.
DAP: What do you like about art… your own experiences doing it as well as being around it?
PAIGE: Everyone sees something different even in realism. They have a different idea of what it means, and I really love that because it can be personal to multiple people for different reasons. Even if it isn’t what was in the artist’s head when they were creating it.
DAP: Who are some of your favorite artists?
PAIGE: Salvador Dali is one of my top ones. I really like van Gogh. I love his story. It’s very interesting. I’m blanking on the others. (Laughs)
DAP: When I say doodling, what do you think of?
PAIGE: For me it’s like whenever I’m rough sketching, and don’t have, like, a clear idea of what I want to do so I start sketching down until I get an idea…is what doodling is to me.
DAP: Do you consider doodling as art?
PAIGE: Yes. It’s definitely art and it’s art that’s much more accessible to everyone than painting is or sculpting and things like that.
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DAP: What did you first think when you heard “doodle art project”?
PAIGE: When I first heard about it, I was very curious as to what is behind it. I love the idea of having a ton of people around the community and other places as well coming together and having a lot of little doodles in small pieces so it’s a collage of art of everyone and every age. Then hearing more about it in the idea of it being therapeutic really resonated with me and I thought it was a really great idea. |
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DAP: What are you hoping for in your future in art?
PAIGE: I definitely want to get more solidified in the art world and making those connections, but eventually I would like to open my own art gallery… so that’s what I’m aiming for at the moment.
DAP: How has your experience been in Abilene being in our artistic community?
PAIGE: In the artistic community, it’s been amazing. Everyone has been very uplifting and helpful. They’ve given great critiques and ideas about how to fix things, ‘cause sometimes I get a little too close to the project can see something wrong that I can’t and help push me further than I expected to go in a few years. I’ve been in the art community here.
DAP: What would you like for your legacy in art to be? What would you like to leave behind?
PAIGE: That it gets better. So, with my art and everything, even though some of it doesn’t like… it’s landscapes and things like that showing the light…I’m really hoping that people know that even if they really are in a rough dark spot in their life that it does get better and it will eventually, and you just have to push through it.
DAP: What is it like when you see people looking at art and giving their opinions?
PAIGE: So, I love it. The painting that I hate most, which is the top one up there (points to it). I hate it. Completely. But everyone seems to love it and they throw out all these ideas of what they think it stands for and what it means and all of that and I just love hearing it even though whenever I painted it… they’re completely wrong on what it meant whenever I did it. But hearing their ideas on it was amazing and hearing what they love about the pieces that I’ve done helps me see the things that I’ve done incorrectly and what caught them the right way and what I need to work on.
I pause the interview for a little bit to take a picture of the painting she pointed to titled Lost. It features a black background with a female figure in white sitting on a windowsill and a male figure in white opposite her behind a wall crouched down with his hands over his head. I snap several more pictures of her studio while chatting with Paige. Remembering that she’s moving back to her hometown in a couple of months, I wanted to ask her about that.
DAP: What are you going to do once you move back to Alabama in a couple of months? Not necessarily day one, but getting back into the groove there?
PAIGE: So, I have been talking to different places around the different towns and have some possibilities to work with them. I have a few commissions there. So I’m already setting myself up to be working consistently while I’m down there and I do want to save up. Luckily, my family is very much land people, so they love buying up as much land is they can. My dad said he was always going to buy one piece of land at a time and get it back for the natives which was his joke.
But there is a plot in Bay Minette, which is the bigger town next-door, and me and my mom have been talking about building an art gallery there and possibly a bakery as well for my sister-in-law who bakes cakes and they’re a really interesting and everything. My brother airbrushes them to make them look like real fish and different things like that.
DAP: Are you going back to your hometown or somewhere nearby?
PAIGE: I’m going back to my hometown. Bay Minnette is about fifteen minutes away.
DAP: Do you think your paintings are going to shift focus there in a different environment or pretty much stay the same?
PAIGE: I think that they’ll do better there because everything I tend to paint and draw is very Alabama centric, so it’ll go over better there than in Texas. So, for Alabama there it’s very beachy. At least where I’m from it’s very beachy, outdoorsy, and all of that. Whereas in Texas it’s very western, and I don’t have a good mental grasp on the western aspect to draw on as much there. So, I do think they’ll do better there back home.
After the interview, Paige takes me on a tour of 1117 so I can check out work from the new artists. Outside of the studio of Michelle Fox hangs a very vibrant impressionistic painting of a man holding his son in front of a beat-up pickup. Yellows, blues, and greens pop off the canvas. Paige introduces me to Michelle who lets me into her studio to see other work. We chat for a while, and I am reminded about how accessible the artists are at 1117. As Paige and I wrap up our tour, she drops a mini bombshell on me. The interview is not quite over.
PAIGE: I definitely want to get more solidified in the art world and making those connections, but eventually I would like to open my own art gallery… so that’s what I’m aiming for at the moment.
DAP: How has your experience been in Abilene being in our artistic community?
PAIGE: In the artistic community, it’s been amazing. Everyone has been very uplifting and helpful. They’ve given great critiques and ideas about how to fix things, ‘cause sometimes I get a little too close to the project can see something wrong that I can’t and help push me further than I expected to go in a few years. I’ve been in the art community here.
DAP: What would you like for your legacy in art to be? What would you like to leave behind?
PAIGE: That it gets better. So, with my art and everything, even though some of it doesn’t like… it’s landscapes and things like that showing the light…I’m really hoping that people know that even if they really are in a rough dark spot in their life that it does get better and it will eventually, and you just have to push through it.
DAP: What is it like when you see people looking at art and giving their opinions?
PAIGE: So, I love it. The painting that I hate most, which is the top one up there (points to it). I hate it. Completely. But everyone seems to love it and they throw out all these ideas of what they think it stands for and what it means and all of that and I just love hearing it even though whenever I painted it… they’re completely wrong on what it meant whenever I did it. But hearing their ideas on it was amazing and hearing what they love about the pieces that I’ve done helps me see the things that I’ve done incorrectly and what caught them the right way and what I need to work on.
I pause the interview for a little bit to take a picture of the painting she pointed to titled Lost. It features a black background with a female figure in white sitting on a windowsill and a male figure in white opposite her behind a wall crouched down with his hands over his head. I snap several more pictures of her studio while chatting with Paige. Remembering that she’s moving back to her hometown in a couple of months, I wanted to ask her about that.
DAP: What are you going to do once you move back to Alabama in a couple of months? Not necessarily day one, but getting back into the groove there?
PAIGE: So, I have been talking to different places around the different towns and have some possibilities to work with them. I have a few commissions there. So I’m already setting myself up to be working consistently while I’m down there and I do want to save up. Luckily, my family is very much land people, so they love buying up as much land is they can. My dad said he was always going to buy one piece of land at a time and get it back for the natives which was his joke.
But there is a plot in Bay Minette, which is the bigger town next-door, and me and my mom have been talking about building an art gallery there and possibly a bakery as well for my sister-in-law who bakes cakes and they’re a really interesting and everything. My brother airbrushes them to make them look like real fish and different things like that.
DAP: Are you going back to your hometown or somewhere nearby?
PAIGE: I’m going back to my hometown. Bay Minnette is about fifteen minutes away.
DAP: Do you think your paintings are going to shift focus there in a different environment or pretty much stay the same?
PAIGE: I think that they’ll do better there because everything I tend to paint and draw is very Alabama centric, so it’ll go over better there than in Texas. So, for Alabama there it’s very beachy. At least where I’m from it’s very beachy, outdoorsy, and all of that. Whereas in Texas it’s very western, and I don’t have a good mental grasp on the western aspect to draw on as much there. So, I do think they’ll do better there back home.
After the interview, Paige takes me on a tour of 1117 so I can check out work from the new artists. Outside of the studio of Michelle Fox hangs a very vibrant impressionistic painting of a man holding his son in front of a beat-up pickup. Yellows, blues, and greens pop off the canvas. Paige introduces me to Michelle who lets me into her studio to see other work. We chat for a while, and I am reminded about how accessible the artists are at 1117. As Paige and I wrap up our tour, she drops a mini bombshell on me. The interview is not quite over.
DAP: So, your house actually had two fires?
PAIGE: After it was burned down and everything it was very dangerous to go through. It was pretty much hollowed out with destruction everywhere. Walls were completely gone even. Weird things survived. In my room the only things that survived were a porcelain cat my great grandmother had given me and my wallet which had $20 in it. In my parents’ room the Bible was completely untouched. And then some antique lamps didn’t get messed up even though the fire hose hit one of them dead on and knocked it over, it didn’t shatter. It was very difficult to go through there ‘cause even years later it reeked of the smoke. And just seeing your whole life destroyed is very difficult.
But after I moved here, it was a year later…2019… they were doing controlled burns in the area and one of them got out of control and wiped it completely out and so there’s no structure anymore. Which is kind of a good thing because we were going to have to tear it down anyway and get rid of it all, so they kind of helped with that unintentionally.
DAP: Wow. So did that second fire help make that transition easier?
PAIGE: In a lot of ways yes. For me, it did bring up all the terror again for me for a while. But after I got over all that it was definitely a blessing in disguise kind of thing, because the only thing we wanted to keep was the chimney, and that’s the only thing that stayed.
DAP: With your PTSD, how did you handle things initially and then up to today? With therapy?
PAIGE: No, I didn’t know. I actually hadn’t until I was in college. I was in a psychology class and he started listing everything out, symptoms, and everything, and how it wasn’t just for the military, which is what I always though. And I had a breakdown in the car and called my mom and told her that I had it and she was like, “Yes, we knew you had it, and it seemed like you were doing fine and didn’t think you needed therapy.”
And I was like you know it’s been a struggle and everything, but I found a coping mechanism that got my mind off of it like drawing and everything like that. That grounded me back in reality. Because for me personally I would start seeing smoke and smelling it even though it wasn’t there. I eventually got a service dog, and she could tell when I was having a panic attack and she would ground me in reality as well
DAP: What kind of advice or inspiration would you give to someone else who is in a similar situation to yours?
PAIGE: The kind of advice I would give is find something you like doing and continue it because it’s a healing process. So doing things you enjoy doing helps with the healing process. But also, whenever I get asked this, I always think about something Bob Ross said on his show right after his wife passed away and it’s, “You’ve got to have opposites: dark and light, light and dark in painting—just like in life—you’ve got to have a little sadness every once in a while, so you know when the good times come.” So, even though PSTD is a very big sadness, in his words, you have to go through times that are not good, so that you know whenever the good times are. Because you have to have both. Without it, everything would be bland.
Before I leave, Paige hands me a sheet of paper with a description of her exhibit Lost in Alabama as well as a gift—a black picture frame. Resting inside is a photograph of the remains of her family house burned to the ground. A warped and burnt metal piece rests in the foreground and the foundation, littered with the scattered ashen remains of her home, lays behind it. White bare limbs of haunting dead trees ensnarl the perimeter with green forest lit behind it all.
In the background corner looms the two-story stone chimney. Even in it’s weathered and burned state it remains firm. It stands bright like a beacon of light coming out of the darkness. It’s a Phoenix of sorts rising out of the ashes the way Paige’s life has through art as well as the way her love has for her lost place in Alabama.
PAIGE: After it was burned down and everything it was very dangerous to go through. It was pretty much hollowed out with destruction everywhere. Walls were completely gone even. Weird things survived. In my room the only things that survived were a porcelain cat my great grandmother had given me and my wallet which had $20 in it. In my parents’ room the Bible was completely untouched. And then some antique lamps didn’t get messed up even though the fire hose hit one of them dead on and knocked it over, it didn’t shatter. It was very difficult to go through there ‘cause even years later it reeked of the smoke. And just seeing your whole life destroyed is very difficult.
But after I moved here, it was a year later…2019… they were doing controlled burns in the area and one of them got out of control and wiped it completely out and so there’s no structure anymore. Which is kind of a good thing because we were going to have to tear it down anyway and get rid of it all, so they kind of helped with that unintentionally.
DAP: Wow. So did that second fire help make that transition easier?
PAIGE: In a lot of ways yes. For me, it did bring up all the terror again for me for a while. But after I got over all that it was definitely a blessing in disguise kind of thing, because the only thing we wanted to keep was the chimney, and that’s the only thing that stayed.
DAP: With your PTSD, how did you handle things initially and then up to today? With therapy?
PAIGE: No, I didn’t know. I actually hadn’t until I was in college. I was in a psychology class and he started listing everything out, symptoms, and everything, and how it wasn’t just for the military, which is what I always though. And I had a breakdown in the car and called my mom and told her that I had it and she was like, “Yes, we knew you had it, and it seemed like you were doing fine and didn’t think you needed therapy.”
And I was like you know it’s been a struggle and everything, but I found a coping mechanism that got my mind off of it like drawing and everything like that. That grounded me back in reality. Because for me personally I would start seeing smoke and smelling it even though it wasn’t there. I eventually got a service dog, and she could tell when I was having a panic attack and she would ground me in reality as well
DAP: What kind of advice or inspiration would you give to someone else who is in a similar situation to yours?
PAIGE: The kind of advice I would give is find something you like doing and continue it because it’s a healing process. So doing things you enjoy doing helps with the healing process. But also, whenever I get asked this, I always think about something Bob Ross said on his show right after his wife passed away and it’s, “You’ve got to have opposites: dark and light, light and dark in painting—just like in life—you’ve got to have a little sadness every once in a while, so you know when the good times come.” So, even though PSTD is a very big sadness, in his words, you have to go through times that are not good, so that you know whenever the good times are. Because you have to have both. Without it, everything would be bland.
Before I leave, Paige hands me a sheet of paper with a description of her exhibit Lost in Alabama as well as a gift—a black picture frame. Resting inside is a photograph of the remains of her family house burned to the ground. A warped and burnt metal piece rests in the foreground and the foundation, littered with the scattered ashen remains of her home, lays behind it. White bare limbs of haunting dead trees ensnarl the perimeter with green forest lit behind it all.
In the background corner looms the two-story stone chimney. Even in it’s weathered and burned state it remains firm. It stands bright like a beacon of light coming out of the darkness. It’s a Phoenix of sorts rising out of the ashes the way Paige’s life has through art as well as the way her love has for her lost place in Alabama.
Greg Crone continued . . .
DAP: Right then and there you decided you wanted to do art. Was she an artist?
GREG: No. She basically worked in restaurants, her whole life. She liked to travel. She loved to go to concerts. I don’t know what it was. I never had an art class.
DAP: It couldn’t have happened that quickly… or did it?
GREG: It kinda happened that quickly, yeah.
Greg says Tiffany was a sweetheart and a very responsible mother who worked at restaurants for most her life. She loved rock concerts just as much as Greg. He even wheeled her around a Korn & Rob Zombie concert late in her life. She passed away in January 2018 at the age of 37 leaving behind two children. Greg and his family made her funeral a special event that reflected her life.
GREG: We threw all the focus into doing a memorial service and we had tickets that look like Ticketmaster tickets and a program that looked like a little CD cover. One of her friends was a youth pastor and we got a band that played that Queensrÿche song “Silent Lucidity” for her and the preacher sat in on bass and we were like…we pulled it off (laughing)…whatever funeral did the pastor ever sit in on a Queensrÿche song with the band? You know? And we had videos and a big barbecue and it was at a place that had, like, a lake and the kids went fishing, threw frisbees and bubbles. So it went from a memorial service to people hanging out and having a good time.
After the cookie sheet painting, Greg painted on all kinds of surfaces, including old record albums from a clearance bin that well-known Abilene record store Record Guys was getting rid of. Or, if not a specific image, he would play the record and dribble paint onto it as it spun. Sometimes he would find an iconic record cover with no album to it and toy with it. He once used a sharpie to draw the faces of the members of KISS on the images of the Beatles from their Revolver album—which he posted on Facebook and sold in minutes.
His confidence grew as the years went by and his painting skills developed. The images went from mostly silhouettes (because they were easier) to actual faces of all kinds of interesting characters, including aliens and demons and people he knew, always bringing out oddities through his dark sense of humor. In honor of Tiffany, there is a variety of
paintings of brains that pulsate and radiate in bright colors waves of energy.
DAP: What has your progression been with art? And do you feel like you are a better artist?
GREG: I feel like I am a way better artist than when I started. I watched some YouTube tutorials, picked up stuff, being in a studio environment. You know? I was selling stuff on the street at Art Walk and a couple of artists were like, ‘Hey, man, you need to get a studio with us. There’s this place called Art Crush and you can get a studio for pretty cheap.’ So, I thought about it and I ended up getting a studio over there and it boosted…because you’re around other artists and you get to see other techniques, materials, and what they’re using, and it was just eye-opening. I think I had that one for only about six months. And me, and another artist artist, Casey Chavez, were thinking about breaking it off and starting our own thing, something different. There were just visions of incorporating more in it, and breaking away from that more traditional art school. You know what I mean? The thought of, ‘Oh I have to go to art school and get an art degree and I have to go to galleries.’ It’s like, no, there’s a whole new world out there.
GREG: No. She basically worked in restaurants, her whole life. She liked to travel. She loved to go to concerts. I don’t know what it was. I never had an art class.
DAP: It couldn’t have happened that quickly… or did it?
GREG: It kinda happened that quickly, yeah.
Greg says Tiffany was a sweetheart and a very responsible mother who worked at restaurants for most her life. She loved rock concerts just as much as Greg. He even wheeled her around a Korn & Rob Zombie concert late in her life. She passed away in January 2018 at the age of 37 leaving behind two children. Greg and his family made her funeral a special event that reflected her life.
GREG: We threw all the focus into doing a memorial service and we had tickets that look like Ticketmaster tickets and a program that looked like a little CD cover. One of her friends was a youth pastor and we got a band that played that Queensrÿche song “Silent Lucidity” for her and the preacher sat in on bass and we were like…we pulled it off (laughing)…whatever funeral did the pastor ever sit in on a Queensrÿche song with the band? You know? And we had videos and a big barbecue and it was at a place that had, like, a lake and the kids went fishing, threw frisbees and bubbles. So it went from a memorial service to people hanging out and having a good time.
After the cookie sheet painting, Greg painted on all kinds of surfaces, including old record albums from a clearance bin that well-known Abilene record store Record Guys was getting rid of. Or, if not a specific image, he would play the record and dribble paint onto it as it spun. Sometimes he would find an iconic record cover with no album to it and toy with it. He once used a sharpie to draw the faces of the members of KISS on the images of the Beatles from their Revolver album—which he posted on Facebook and sold in minutes.
His confidence grew as the years went by and his painting skills developed. The images went from mostly silhouettes (because they were easier) to actual faces of all kinds of interesting characters, including aliens and demons and people he knew, always bringing out oddities through his dark sense of humor. In honor of Tiffany, there is a variety of
paintings of brains that pulsate and radiate in bright colors waves of energy.
DAP: What has your progression been with art? And do you feel like you are a better artist?
GREG: I feel like I am a way better artist than when I started. I watched some YouTube tutorials, picked up stuff, being in a studio environment. You know? I was selling stuff on the street at Art Walk and a couple of artists were like, ‘Hey, man, you need to get a studio with us. There’s this place called Art Crush and you can get a studio for pretty cheap.’ So, I thought about it and I ended up getting a studio over there and it boosted…because you’re around other artists and you get to see other techniques, materials, and what they’re using, and it was just eye-opening. I think I had that one for only about six months. And me, and another artist artist, Casey Chavez, were thinking about breaking it off and starting our own thing, something different. There were just visions of incorporating more in it, and breaking away from that more traditional art school. You know what I mean? The thought of, ‘Oh I have to go to art school and get an art degree and I have to go to galleries.’ It’s like, no, there’s a whole new world out there.
DAP: Is it more of like a punk rock type vibe?
GREG: Yeah, it’s like a do-it-yourself grassroots making art accessible. You know because even to this day I’ll put it out to 1000 people on Facebook of an art event and I’ve got maybe five that how up. I think a lot of people hear the word art and they think of that buttoned-up stuffy pretentious and inclusive…you know what I mean? That’s just what comes to mind and I mean that’s fine. But there’s also, you know, when you travel across to different places there’s thriving underground art scenes everywhere.
As strange as Greg‘s art can be and as much of an oddball, he is as a punk rock artist, an authentically sincere guy, and highly encouraging of other artists. He really enjoys being part of a community with others trying to succeed through art. Attending art functions in town, peddling his art out at Art Walk in downtown Abilene every month and visiting art festivals across the country are ways he enjoys learning about art and exploring it to its fullest.
GREG: Yeah, it’s like a do-it-yourself grassroots making art accessible. You know because even to this day I’ll put it out to 1000 people on Facebook of an art event and I’ve got maybe five that how up. I think a lot of people hear the word art and they think of that buttoned-up stuffy pretentious and inclusive…you know what I mean? That’s just what comes to mind and I mean that’s fine. But there’s also, you know, when you travel across to different places there’s thriving underground art scenes everywhere.
As strange as Greg‘s art can be and as much of an oddball, he is as a punk rock artist, an authentically sincere guy, and highly encouraging of other artists. He really enjoys being part of a community with others trying to succeed through art. Attending art functions in town, peddling his art out at Art Walk in downtown Abilene every month and visiting art festivals across the country are ways he enjoys learning about art and exploring it to its fullest.
I met Greg because I had left a DAP doodle submission box at People’s Plaza in the lobby. He contacted me through Instagram to ask me if I wanted to bring DAP to the inaugural First Friday as an interactive element. I accepted his offer and set up a table for patrons to doodle. I was overwhelmed by how many people of all ages stopped by my set-up to doodle. Since then, I have been back three more times and collected dozens of doodles.
GREG: I think we’re all…as kids we’re all different. You know, I think it was Ice-T who said, “You get a black kid, a white kid, and a yellow kid in a sandbox playing together, they’ll play together forever until…(he tears up)…until somebody tells them they’re different…and I think it’s the same thing with art. I think we’re all creative. We all have that ‘no limits’ to us and somewhere life beats it out of us and I think when somebody can sit down and doodle with you…it just opens that door to that…there’s no walls. I can sit here and I’m not going to be judged… can be creative. And I think that’s what it is maybe: the fear of judgment. That’s what beats it out of people. But I think that interactive activity is even when you can see a mom sitting there watching her kid do it, they’re getting joy out of watching their kid do it.
GREG: I think we’re all…as kids we’re all different. You know, I think it was Ice-T who said, “You get a black kid, a white kid, and a yellow kid in a sandbox playing together, they’ll play together forever until…(he tears up)…until somebody tells them they’re different…and I think it’s the same thing with art. I think we’re all creative. We all have that ‘no limits’ to us and somewhere life beats it out of us and I think when somebody can sit down and doodle with you…it just opens that door to that…there’s no walls. I can sit here and I’m not going to be judged… can be creative. And I think that’s what it is maybe: the fear of judgment. That’s what beats it out of people. But I think that interactive activity is even when you can see a mom sitting there watching her kid do it, they’re getting joy out of watching their kid do it.
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DAP: When I say doodling, what do you think?
GREG: When I hear the word doodle, I think when I sat in board meetings or on telephone conferences, and while this noise is going on there and I’m drawing circles, you know, making a figure eight and…oh that looks like a spider and and I’ll add some legs to it. That’s what immediately comes to mind, doing something kinda…that your mind is focused on this droning meeting thing, but the subconscious is creeping out down your arm and drawing a face, do you know what I mean? Taking some notes and scribbling off in the margins and, you know, little faces, and doodles. That’s what I think of. |
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DAP: Do you consider doodling art?
GREG: Yes! Most definitely. You’re expressing something, and even when you’re doing it that way, even more so it’s coming out of you and you act like you don’t know where, but it’s coming from somewhere in you, you know, it’s expression. It’s coming out of you. Yeah. I definitely think it’s art.
DAP: What do you think “doodle art project” even means?
GREG: From being around you, it’s a way to get people to connect and express themselves. And I know that you’ve said you want to do it as therapeutic, and it is. It’s very therapeutic. Art is therapy. Art was my therapy. My wife went down in the direction of sitting at home and staring at blank walls where I was like…I’m doing this. I’m throwing all my time and energy into this, so it was super therapeutic for me.
DAP: Do you think art is important?
GREG: I think art is very important. You know, it’s been a lot of catalysts for social change. There is a lot of social good it does in pushing boundaries and doing things and therapeutic. Some people are caught in nostalgia. Some people want you to paint a sonic hedgehog or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and I think that’s the greatest thing ever and it’s still art. Not my cup of tea, but it’s still art.
GREG: Yes! Most definitely. You’re expressing something, and even when you’re doing it that way, even more so it’s coming out of you and you act like you don’t know where, but it’s coming from somewhere in you, you know, it’s expression. It’s coming out of you. Yeah. I definitely think it’s art.
DAP: What do you think “doodle art project” even means?
GREG: From being around you, it’s a way to get people to connect and express themselves. And I know that you’ve said you want to do it as therapeutic, and it is. It’s very therapeutic. Art is therapy. Art was my therapy. My wife went down in the direction of sitting at home and staring at blank walls where I was like…I’m doing this. I’m throwing all my time and energy into this, so it was super therapeutic for me.
DAP: Do you think art is important?
GREG: I think art is very important. You know, it’s been a lot of catalysts for social change. There is a lot of social good it does in pushing boundaries and doing things and therapeutic. Some people are caught in nostalgia. Some people want you to paint a sonic hedgehog or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and I think that’s the greatest thing ever and it’s still art. Not my cup of tea, but it’s still art.
slideshow
Four days after the first part of this interview, I pay a visit to Greg again in his studio with a few more questions for him. He’s working on a new painting of Irish rock singer Sinead O’Connor who had passed away just a couple days before after our first interview. Her song “Drink Before the War” playing from Spotify the First Interview.
Hanging out with him today in his studio is his granddaughter Alice, painting on a small canvas. For a soon-to-be eight year-old, her painting looks like it was done by someone older. It has pops of color and abstractions. Between her grandfather and her father Ryan (who illustrates comic books), it’s easy to see where she gets her talent. Greg shows me the painting of Sinead in progress with its beautiful shades of blue before I sit down to begin the interview. It’s a touching homage to a musical artist we both admire.
DAP: Does Tiffany influence your art in some way? Is she there with you in your art?
GREG: Oh yeah. I paint a lot of brains because of the brain cancer. And some friends took me to Rocklahoma and we were out there in this big old campsite, you know, and this little purple, petal, you know, a fake flower blew over and it was like her telling me she was there with me. I have moments like that.
DAP: Do you think she would be proud of you?
GREG: Oh yeah.
DAP: What value do you see in art?
GREG: There’s therapeutic value in getting it out of you. People deal with trauma or tragedy in all sorts of different ways. I can’t see myself holding it in, you know, so it comes out in the art. I think the expression, even if it’s not a traumatic thing, the expression, I think, helps people… connects people.
DAP: What do you see other people experiencing in art?
GREG: Some of them, you know, it’s just like a hobby they do and still slave grind to the corporations in the day. And I think that it’s a way to just cope and relax. And I see other people trying to express social change or injustices and I see people that just want to paint beauty. You know, it’s just the gamut of everything. It really is. It encompasses everything you can imagine as reasons for why people do art.
DAP: What would you like your legacy of art to be?
GREG: I’d like people just to remember creativity and hopefully the inspiration, you know, that I tried to inspire anyone of any level to participate when we have art shows and when we do things because that’s my big gain out of it emotionally and physically. What I get out of art is seeing other people bust out of their shells and become confident because you always feel the Imposter Syndrome.
DAP: Is that somewhat because you took risks and you dove in and it was a struggle maybe, but you did it?
GREG: Yeah. I had the attitude of… act like a badass and you know what you’re doing and half of the people will go along with it (laughs). You know, like I said, I started out doing silhouettes and I just acted like it was the greatest thing ever, even though you’re always self-doubting, self- conscious, like… God I suck compared to these other people, but you don’t let it show, man, you don’t put that out to the world. You put out confidence.
Hanging out with him today in his studio is his granddaughter Alice, painting on a small canvas. For a soon-to-be eight year-old, her painting looks like it was done by someone older. It has pops of color and abstractions. Between her grandfather and her father Ryan (who illustrates comic books), it’s easy to see where she gets her talent. Greg shows me the painting of Sinead in progress with its beautiful shades of blue before I sit down to begin the interview. It’s a touching homage to a musical artist we both admire.
DAP: Does Tiffany influence your art in some way? Is she there with you in your art?
GREG: Oh yeah. I paint a lot of brains because of the brain cancer. And some friends took me to Rocklahoma and we were out there in this big old campsite, you know, and this little purple, petal, you know, a fake flower blew over and it was like her telling me she was there with me. I have moments like that.
DAP: Do you think she would be proud of you?
GREG: Oh yeah.
DAP: What value do you see in art?
GREG: There’s therapeutic value in getting it out of you. People deal with trauma or tragedy in all sorts of different ways. I can’t see myself holding it in, you know, so it comes out in the art. I think the expression, even if it’s not a traumatic thing, the expression, I think, helps people… connects people.
DAP: What do you see other people experiencing in art?
GREG: Some of them, you know, it’s just like a hobby they do and still slave grind to the corporations in the day. And I think that it’s a way to just cope and relax. And I see other people trying to express social change or injustices and I see people that just want to paint beauty. You know, it’s just the gamut of everything. It really is. It encompasses everything you can imagine as reasons for why people do art.
DAP: What would you like your legacy of art to be?
GREG: I’d like people just to remember creativity and hopefully the inspiration, you know, that I tried to inspire anyone of any level to participate when we have art shows and when we do things because that’s my big gain out of it emotionally and physically. What I get out of art is seeing other people bust out of their shells and become confident because you always feel the Imposter Syndrome.
DAP: Is that somewhat because you took risks and you dove in and it was a struggle maybe, but you did it?
GREG: Yeah. I had the attitude of… act like a badass and you know what you’re doing and half of the people will go along with it (laughs). You know, like I said, I started out doing silhouettes and I just acted like it was the greatest thing ever, even though you’re always self-doubting, self- conscious, like… God I suck compared to these other people, but you don’t let it show, man, you don’t put that out to the world. You put out confidence.